Monday, August 30, 2010

On that Gut Feeling

Wikipedia has the definition of "guy feeling" as a "visceral emotional reaction to something, and often one of uneasiness". I figure it's time to post about my health.

"Sensitive" sculpture by Miquel Blay, 1910.

I've shied away from blogging about something so personal because I fear making readers uncomfortable so I will be very non-graphic about my thoughts.

My colon tumor biopsy returned as adenocarcinoma, colon cancer.
My course of treatment has been swift, I've had a CT scan with both ingested iodine dye and intravenous dye, to which I found the machine to be scary.

So far....CT scan of the abdomen shows no metastases to the liver or lung (what lung that could be seen), ruling out stage 4.

Oh, I love you, I love, love you machine!

I am informed that there will be more CT Scans before I'm done.

I'm going to be in surgery soon, the whole right side of my colon will be removed and the lymph nodes will be biopsied, if one shows the spread of the tumor than it means chemotherapy. I'm alright with that considering it is a relief not to have stage 4 cancer.

I'm uncomfortable and fatigued most of the time and was sick Saturday night, a combination of bad roasted peppers, nerves and a heavy gut feeling. This is a living thing inside, waiting to come out and die.

Wikipedia describes ''gut feeling" as "may also be used as a short handed term for a individuals "common sense", what is considered the "right thing to do."

My CT scan showed a 5 centimeter sized cyst on my left ovary a adenobenign cyst and 5 centimeters is the surgical size for this kind of cyst. It will not shrink on it's own. The right ovary may be involve in the "mass". The "gut feeling" thing to of both, the names are too close for my desire. The possible issue in the future could be, scar tissue might interfere in another surgery and chemo will destroy anyway. I come!

And on that scar tissue......

Wikipedia says "Gut feeling, like all reflective unconscious comparisons, can be reprogrammed by practice and experiences."

I can live with that, signed ; (semi-colon) C&G Design

GUT FEELING BY DEVO, November 1988
From the Devo album, "Are we not men, we are D-E-V-O"

Words and photos by Dawn,C&G Design.


tina said...

I will be sending you good thoughts for a full and speedy recovery during this trying time for you and your family. Please know you are in our thoughts and I know you can beat this.

Debbie said...

Hi Dawn....You are such a brave girl. I know this is eating you up inside but you are being very strong about it. It's ok to use the "words" and phrases to describe all of this! You are HUMAN and if it bothers someone in the blogs than that's just too bad...damn it! Don't be afraid of that or this tumor and that cyst. You are going to get through this and be a stronger, more wonderful person than you were before it all started! I's hard to believe you could be more wonderful than you already are...but it's true! You have a fantastic family who adore you....just kick back and let them take care of you....for a are always doing for them. It's hard for us women to let go. God will be with you too. He has many plans for you're not done yet! Speaking of which....Kathleen and I are planning a fall trip to Christmas tree shop and you are part of that trip! You and I and GeeGee and Madame? and whomever else you want to invite. We will wait until you are ready. Thank you for posting about this...I am very proud of you for doing it. It's not easy putting your life out there for all to judge. I suspect no one is though...these women are kind and loving people who only want the best for us all. My prayers are with you my friend and whatever else I can do. I will be in touch again by phone. God brought you to it....he'll see you through it.

Dawn said...

Thanks, Debbie. And YES! count me in on the trip! And Madame too!

Jean said...

Bravo Debbie!!!! I just told Dawn last night that after this is all over with, she will know who her true friends are and who are not and "those" people who are not, do not deserve the time of day.

BTW....Tina and Debbie, you are both right....IT WILL BE BEAT!!!

Kathleen said...

I so admire your courage. PLease know you will be in my thoughts and prayers. When you are ready we will head out to the Christmas tree shop and breakfast or lunch or both. Keep a positive and fighting attitude, and you will do great. Oh, I have a box of dolls for you. Let me know when you are ready to have them shipped to you. You go girlfriend!!!!
luv and hugs, Kathleen

Nancy said...

Dawn, although it seems so horrific to say, I am SO glad about the good portion of your news. My best friend conquered and you will too. We are all supporting you in many ways, even from far and possibly much farther away soon. It is so difficult to know what to type right now except y'all are my heroes. You give me strength. You may never know what big (and little) events your sharing may impact.

Lola said...

Dawn,thank you for baring your most personal situations. I am at a lose for words just now.
I will pray for your speedy recovery. I know you will beat this.

Skeeter said...

Oh sweet Dawn. Debbie pretty much sums up what we are all thinking now with this news...

You hang in there girl and this will soon be a mere memory.

I am finding myself praying more and more lately and God seems to be listening to me :-) so I will continue to speak to him...

You take it easy and let your family tend to you darling....